UPDATE: Monday, Sep 18, 2023 · 2:30:01 PM +00:00
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raptavio
16 comments in response to this diary got hidden. Every single one of them either doubling down on the misogyny (my personal favorite: a dude assuming I’m also a woman and asking me to show him my tits) or angrily and defensively denying that any such thing is happening here.
Overall, this and other diaries about the theater have generated around three dozen misogynistic comments in the hiddens alone — who knows how many more in these diaries have gone unhidden.
Folks, we have a misogyny problem on Daily Kos, and while it comes out most blatantly when a right-wing woman is in the news, it doesn’t begin nor end there. And we need to come to terms with that and address it as a community.
“Whore.” “Slut.” “MILF”. “GILF”.
All words I’ve seen on this site in the last 24 hours describing Lauren Boebert.
All words that have zero to do with what’s wrong with her, and all words that communicate the same thing: Women’s sexuality is shameful, subject to public judgment, and most insidiously, not theirs and theirs alone.
Far too many people on this supposedly progressive site — mostly men — have been going after Boebert not for grift, hypocrisy, using the “culture wars” for cynical personal gain, or just being one of the shittiest examples of Republican politicians holding elected office today, but simply for getting frisky in a theater with her boyfriend.
Now, the people who I’m calling out here have probably already stopped reading, but let me be clear: There’s a lot of valid commentary to be made about her choices here. Most significantly to me, that it exemplifies that her “culture war” rhetoric is simply grift and politically opportunistic. (I can’t even call it hypocrisy because that would require her to have believed a word she was saying.) Her disrespect for other theatergoers and the implied threats toward the staff of the theater reflect on parts of her character and judgment that impact her job performance.
But the rhetoric I’m seeing from these people is, to put it simply, not any of that. They’re simply “ha ha woman caught doing the fondles, she is bad”. And you know what? I would put money that a large portion of those making that criticism have themselves gone to second base or farther in places where they knew they were risking getting caught.
Sadly, misogyny (like racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.) is not a phenomenon exclusive to the right. And on the left, and on this site in particular, the logic seems to be this:
- She is woman.
- She is right wing.
- Because right wing, is not misogyny to attack her for being woman.
That's caveman reasoning, except we know more about cavemen now, and no self respecting caveman would say that, either.
And these (mostly) fellows have a surprisingly large library of vectors of shaming women in ways that nobody on Daily Kos would deny are misogyny were they applied to a progressive woman. Kind of revealing, really. Shows sexual agency? Attack her. Conventionally attractive? Creep on her. Not conventionally attractive? Devalue her. Why, it’s almost like some people hold these attitudes toward women in general but only feel safe displaying these attitudes when the target is one few people are going to be willing to defend.
And yeah, Lauren Boebert is a horrible Congresswoman, and a horrible person. The thing is, and it pains me every time I have to say this, she is not horrible because she’s a woman, so stop fucking attacking her as if she is.
Because if you do, you’re attacking all women. There is no wall of separation between Boebert and women who aren’t odious right-wing grifters where misogynistic attacks directed at her only land on her. You’re just saying “women bad”.
And given the sheer volume of shit that is actually wrong with Lauren Boebert, things she has said and done which actively cause harm to America and to everyone who lives here, if the best you can do to attack Boebert is to slut-shame her, how inept, lazy, and willfully stupid do you have to be?
*Disclaimer: If anything said here offends you, please rest assured that I absolutely am speaking directly to you as an individual and mean every word.
*Second disclaimer: If you go back far enough in my own diary history, years ago I defended what were fundamentally misogynistic/transphobic attacks on other right-wing women. I keep the diary there as a reminder to myself that I’ve been severely wrong in the past, too, and that there is no shame in growing into a better person.
Thank you to the three Kossacks (who I won’t name but they can name themselves) who vetted and reviewed this diary and offered an edit or two prior to publishing.