Once upon a time, there was a forest. In this forest lived many creatures. Squirrels, chipmunks, birds, deer, monkeys, and many others, all living in peace. Sure, sometimes they squabbled with each other, but overall they had a good life together.
One day, all that changed. A pack of wolves learned about the forest, and made plans to invade the forest and feast upon all the creatures who lived in it.
A little sparrow heard the wolves making their plans, and hurried back to the forest to warn everybody.
Upon hearing the news, the creatures of the forest were alarmed, and some began to panic. Quickly, they gathered together and tried together to figure out a plan to protect themselves from the wolves.
“We should dig burrows and build nests,” said the chipmunk, “where we won’t be seen and where the wolves can’t reach us.”
“No, we should plan escape routes,” said the deer, “so that if we are found we can evade them.”
The animals began to discuss the merits of the two plans, and the discussion grew into a debate. After an hour or so of the discussion, a peacock spoke up. “Obviously,” he said with great solemnity, “the burrow plan is the superior one, because the wolves might run faster, even along our pre-planned escape paths.” And the peacock unfurled his tail, fluttering it as he spoke.
Another peacock spoke up. “No, my friend, that is foolish,” he said with calm authority. “If the wolves manage to dig into the burrows, we will be trapped, with no place to run.” And the second peacock unfurled his fail, displaying it decisively to the gathered creatures. “Clearly, I speak with greater authority on the matter.”
“Okay,” said a squirrel, “but I’m not as fast as a wolf, but I can build a nest up in the trees and...”
“Tut, tut,” said the second peacock, “The majority of the creatures here cannot build burrows, and clearly I speak for them.” He fluttered his tail plumage proudly.
“How uncouth,” said the first peacock, as he insistently spread his tail feathers. “The voices of the smallest creatures in our forest must be heard! So listen to me. They must have places to hide!”
“Okay,” said a rabbit, “actually, I’m pretty good at outrunning...”
“You insist on denying the speedier creatures the chance to evade the coming disaster?” said the second peacock. “Have you not noticed my plumage is more beautiful than yours? Clearly I am right and you are wrong.”
The first one shot back through a hissing beak, “Your plumage? You’re missing a feather from the very center of your fan! If you cannot even maintain a decent train, how can your opinion be trusted?”
The second one angrily spat back, “Says the peacock with the dimmest eyespots in the entire forest!”
Very quickly, the remaining peacocks took sides, perching alongside the burrow and escape-path peacocks, each spreading their trains into fans, each fluttering them, insulting the trains of the other side, complimenting the trains of their peers, and each insisting that their opinion was superior because they had the more beautiful plumage.
And many animals agreed that they were impressive displays, and the peacocks’ plumage was beautiful. But they still were unable to come to an agreement no matter how much the peacocks strutted and danced and displayed their plumage.
Eventually, over the din, the porcupine proposed all the creatures would vote, and whichever plan had the most votes, that would be the plan that everyone would work on together. The animals all agreed, this was the most sensible thing to do.
“Of course,” said the burrow peacock, “once the votes our in, obviously my plan will prevail, because we have the most beautiful feathers.”
“You are deluded by your own importance,” yelled the escape-route peacock. “My plan will prevail.” He turned to the other creatures. “Is my plan not the superior one? Is my plumage not the most beautiful in the forest?”
After another brief din of peacock squawking, the creatures took a vote. It was a relatively close vote, but the chipmunk’s plan had more votes.
“Very well,” said the deer, “I will keep my word and help dig burrows and build nests. And I encourage everyone else to do the same.”
“Thank you,” said the chipmunk, “but you had good ideas too, so I encourage everyone to also try to have escape paths as a secondary plan.”
“What?!” screeched the burrow peacock, flapping his train enough to create a strong breeze. “My plan prevailed; they need to come help.” The peacocks next to him squawked and chirped approvingly.
“You fools!” shouted the escape-route peacock. “You have doomed yourselves. We won’t waste our efforts on your doomed plan.” His fellows flashed their fans at all the other creatures. “Remember this beautiful plumage that you stupidly ignored.”
The creatures of the forest began their work — all except the peacocks, who spent their days arguing and hurling insults at each other.
But one day, while the animals were building nests and digging burrows, much sooner than they’d hoped, the animals heard barking and growling sounds approaching. The wolves had arrived.
“This will be a tremendous feast!” shouted the alpha wolf. “Let us run down our prey!”
The peacocks flew up into the trees in high branches while the wolves bore down on the forest. Many of the animals of the forest dove into their burrows, but they hadn’t enough time to build burrows for everybody. Those left outside tried to flee down the makeshift game trails and paths, but the wolves were fast, and they were hungry. The lead wolves caught and ate the first few creatures, while their packmates ran after the next ones.
“Help us!” shouted the poor creatures with the snapping wolves hot on their heels.
“You should have listened to us,” shouted the escape-trail peacocks. “We would have built better trails to escape, and the wolves wouldn’t have been able to catch you.”
“Please! The wolves are going to eat us! Carry me into the tree!” shouted a rabbit.
“This wouldn’t have happened to you if you had just recognized that our plumage is brightest!” shouted the escape-plan peacocks. “Aren’t our trains beautiful?”
“You villains!” bellowed the burrow peacocks. “This wouldn’t be happening if you got behind the burrow plan, which you would have done if you could have admitted our plumage is the brightest!”
As the wolves, barking and snarling, continued their carnage upon the creatures of the forest, the peacocks flew up to higher and higher perches, bickering and arguing, fanning out their trains aggressively at each other.”
“Why didn’t you recognize we had the most beautiful feathers? They wouldn’t be dying if you recognized how pretty our fans are.”
“If only you could admit our trains are most colorful, and you were wrong, we could join together and help against the wolves.”
“Innocent animals are dying down there and you just want to soothe your wounded egos because your plan lost. Just admit our plumage is superior and we can get back to work.”
“Your plan failed. Our plan would have worked. Why can’t you just admit we have superior displays to you rather than let those animals die?”
And the wolves feasted.